I Finally Made a Decision, But….

Prepare to buy a homeOn Monday, I wrote about how I am a defensive pessimist.  On Wednesday, I wrote over on Frugal Rules about how my defensive pessimism is holding me back from making a decision about a home.  For those that didn’t read either of those posts, let me give you a simple run down.  I am a defensive pessimist, which means that I have to analyze every situation and come up with a solution before I can make a decision.  This makes it very hard for me to make decisions, but when I do , I feel pretty confident in them.  I am a plan for the worst, yet hope for the best type of person. If I can deal with the worst possible scenario, then I am good.  If you also didn’t know, my wife and I are selling our home and looking for another one. It has been a crazy ride so far, but we don’t have many days left before we will have our home sold.  We are in need of a new home and soon.

We have been looking for about a month and a half now, but nothing really has stood out for us.  That was until last Friday when we saw a home that we both loved in a neighborhood we have been trying to get into.  The problem is that everyone else is trying to get into this particular neighborhood and this was the only house on the market.  The homes in this area are only staying on the market for a few days at most.  They are also not falling too far below asking price.  It is a seller’s market indeed!

Though we loved the home, I still couldn’t pull the damn trigger. I had to go through all of my decision making steps before I could move forward.  This process is hard on my wife because she can just say “yes” and be done with it. It is not that easy for me.  As I said, I go through every scenario over and over again until I have a solution to each bad situation my mind can muster.  It is a rough time for everyone involved.  We saw the house on Friday and went back on Monday afternoon for a second showing.  Since it was Easter weekend, we couldn’t see the home on Sunday.  After about an hour at the house, I finally made a decision.

We Put in an Offer!

Yes, my wife and I put in a offer on a home that we wanted to raise our family in.  It had everything that we could have asked for and it wasn’t going to take any work to fix it up before move in.  It had everything on our want and need list.  The only issue was the price was at the top of our price range.  Being someone that writes about personal finance all of the time, this fact was eating away at me.  I was able to get over it when I ran the numbers (about 10 times) to make sure we could really afford it.  This was a big step for me.

But…..

We put the offer in and then started getting excited. That was short lived when we found out that many other buyers were putting in offers.  Damn bidding wars!  Bidding wars are not the situation we want to be in, but that is how the market is playing out these days.  We thought we put in a strong offer, but then learned that our offer was not even entertained!

With so many offers, the sellers had a great mix of people to choose from.  Unfortunately for us, we were the only buyers to have a contingency on our offer.  See, we can’t afford two mortgages, so our offers have to be contingent on the sale of our home before we can purchase the next home.  It sucks, but that is how it has to be.  For this reason, we were automatically excluded from the bidding war.  We didn’t even get a chance in the fight.  For that reason, I am a little pissed.

It took me a long time to make up that decision and I can’t help to wonder if we would have put an offer in on Friday if they would have entertained it.  My Realtor says that they only got multiple offers on Monday, so who knows. I am kicking myself a little for waiting, but at least now I know exactly what I am looking for in a home. I also know what I will compromise on.  I think being a defensive pessimist held us back in this house, but hopefully I can get it under control for the next one.  Wish me luck as we go back to the drawing board!

 

If you haven’t done so already, take some time to read the latest articles on both Sprout Wealth and Eyes on the Dollar

About the Author Grayson Bell

I'm a business owner, blogger, father, and husband. I used credit cards too much and found myself in over $75,000 in debt ($50,000 in just credit cards). I paid it off, started this blog, and my financial life has changed. I now talk about fighting debt and growing wealth here. I run a WordPress support company, along with another blog, Eyes on the Dollar, which is another great personal finance blog.

follow me on:

Leave a Comment:

30 comments
debt debs says April 25

That’s rough on you being the defensive pessimist that you are, Grayson! Can you sell your house first, so that you are able to make your next offer on a home unconditional? If you want to move to that neighbourhood, that looks like what you might have to do. My husband is in real estate so I hear about stuff like this all the time. Conditional offers are usually no gos in a hot market. Don’t beat yourself up about not making an offer on Friday. Do you have an agent representing you? If they are good, they should give you good tips on when and how to make your offer to maximize your potential for success. Based on your experience gained, you should be able to make your decision sooner next time. Good luck!

Reply
    Laurie says April 29

    Our home is already under contract to be sold. We are searching and trying to buy so we don’t have to be out of a place to stay after we move out. The contingency doesn’t go away until you actually close on your home though.

    Reply
Marie @ Gen Y Finances says April 25

I think you must first sell your house. I hope you finally made decision. Good luck!

Reply
    Laurie says April 28

    We are selling our home right now. It is already under contract!

    Reply
E.M. says April 25

I’m sorry to hear that! It really sucks when you’re finally set on making a decision, only to have it be a little too late. I’ve definitely been there, and I don’t like feeling that pressure. You had to do what you felt was right, though, otherwise you might have been uneasy going into making the offer. I am sure something else will be right around the corner for you! At the very least, at least you learned what you want in a house, so hopefully the decision will be easier.

Reply
    Laurie says April 29

    It is just incredibly hard when I have to make a decision and then I get nothing for it.

    Reply
John @ Frugal Rules says April 25

Sorry to hear that sir. I always feel like I want to kick myself in situations like that, but I’ve come to slowly learn that it’s all a part of the process for me and the key is you took something out of it by learning what you’re really looking for and will compromise on. Best of luck today as you house hunt!

Reply
    Laurie says April 29

    Thanks John! I am kicking myself a bit, but have to just keep moving forward. We just lost another one because someone way over paid. I am glad I didn’t follow them.

    Reply
Raquel@Practical Cents says April 25

Oh Wow, what a bummer. This happened to my sister when she was looking. She ended up “winning” the bid but then after the inspections and due diligence process she ended up not wanting the house. She was disappointed and didn’t find another house for a year after that but now she loves the house she found. It all worked out in the end for the better.

Reply
    Laurie says April 29

    I can see that. My wife and I did put in an offer on an older home and it got accepted. We dropped it a few days later because we found all of these issues with just getting an inspection. Too much work needed to be done.

    Reply
Stefanie @ The Broke and Beautiful Life says April 25

Knowing what you’re willing to compromise on is hugely important. Congrats on making the offer. Fingers crossed!

Reply
Shannon @ The Heavy Purse says April 25

Awwww….I’m sorry it didn’t work out Grayson. I know how hard it is when you find a home you love and it doesn’t work out. I hate bidding wars too, unless, of course, they are on MY home! 🙂 As much as it hurts now, I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. And yes, this is where my optimism shines through! Both of us have homes out there – just waiting for us to discover them. Have a great weekend!

Reply
    Laurie says April 29

    Thanks Shannon! The hot market was great when we listed our home for sale, but it sucks being the buyer.

    Reply
Laurie @thefrugalfarmer says April 25

Grayson, don’t worry. This house might end up coming back to you, or you might find something even better. Hang in there, my friend. 🙂

Reply
Mario Adventuresinfrugal says April 25

Ah, that’s a shame. The process is such a long one and — including yours as a data point — it does seem to be swinging back in the favor of sellers.

No point in beating yourself up for it now, of course, as there’s nothing you can do about it now.

Reply
Joshua @ CNAFinance.com says April 25

Hey Grayson, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve got no chance in the bidding war. I’m sure you’ll find something you love in time!

Reply
Andrew@LivingRichCheaply says April 25

Sorry to here that Grayson…that sucks. And of course I also hate bidding wars as I lost not one but two. I had a similar experience…well somewhat. We’re looking at co-ops here in NYC since houses are too expensive. Our offer was rejected not by the co-op board (we didn’t even get that far), the owner rejected it believing that the board would reject it once it came time for the interview process. Apparently the last deal fell through when the board rejected the buyer. We submitted a bunch of financial documents only to hear the seller say…nope, not good enough. Good luck.

Reply
    Laurie says April 29

    We just lost another one where someone way outbid us. I think they were crazy as the home price was already at the high end of what the neighborhood could justify.

    Reply
Don @ Breath of Optimism says April 25

That stinks! But, I doubt if you had put an offer in on Friday it would have mattered. Since it is a sellers market, they probably knew Easter weekend would be a slow time. In any case, I’m sure you will get another shot at another house soon.

Reply
    Laurie says April 29

    Yeah, it wouldn’t have mattered. They still would have rejected us.

    Reply
Zee @ Work-To-Not-Work says April 26

It’s too bad that it didn’t work out, it’s hard to find a house that you are willing to purchase. I think that running the numbers and not jumping into something to quickly is a good thing. I jumped into my house too quickly and for years I felt like I made a poor decision. 7 years later it seems like a fine investment now, but I’m sure if I was 7 years into any other house I probably would appreciate it more.

I think that carefully evaluating each potential house will benefit you more, you know you will get something you really like. You can’t do to much about the contingency on offers though and I doubt that getting your bid in on Friday would have helped much. I know that when I was trying to sell my house I sat on offers for a little to see what else might come in. Also if something comes in on Friday you usually have more than the weekend to decide so I would have imagined that they would have waited until Monday at the earliest to decide anyways.

Reply
    Laurie says April 28

    We jumped into our current home too quickly. We have regretted it ever since. While I would say that if we see a home on Friday that we have until Monday to decide, but the problem is getting into a bidding war. Most homes in our area go up on Thursday or Friday. When they do go up, you need to get an offer in quickly in order to pull it off the market before the weekend. If you don’t, then you will most likely end up in a bidding war.

    Reply
Jack @ Enwealthen says April 27

Always darkest before the dawn, as they say.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve fought for something and lost, only to find something even better around the corner.

You’ll find a house, maybe it will be better, maybe not, but trust me, in this case you’re better off. You can’t win a bidding war on a house at the top of your price range – you don’t have enough headroom to compete.

Be glad homes are selling for below asking price. Around here, it’s always a bidding war, and they’re always closing higher than asking price, even in this crazy economy.

Reply
    Laurie says April 29

    The homes in the area code we are looking at are not going below asking. They are going above. This zip code is like a mini bubble. You can get homes for less than asking right outside, but the homes are older and the schools are terrible.

    Reply
John Schneider says April 28

I respect the need to be certain, maybe even overly certain. Now that you have numbers that you know make you comfortable, you should be able to plug in variables on the next place you like and make a decision faster. That’s what we did. After crunching a lot of numbers on a lot of places, we came up with parameters with which we were comfortable and were able to move quickly when we found the next place we liked. We got it and because the math worked out the way we planned, it has made ALL the difference in our personal and financial lives. Good luck!

Reply
    Laurie says April 29

    I am more comfortable now making a decision quickly. The problem is the home inventory is just not there. There are very few homes going on the market in the area were are looking to move.

    Reply
Add Your Reply

HERE ARE THE TOOLS I USED TO PAY OFF $75,000 AND GROW MY WEALTH

This guide will show you the tools and sites I used to get control of my finances. They can help anyone and without them, I might still be in a lot of debt.
DOWNLOAD
We respect your information and never spam
5 Great Tools to Rescue Your Finances
close-link
Join Me in Learning How to Save and Make More Money (Plus a free money tools guide!)
Subscribe