I’d like to talk today about how to deal with rejection. Grayson talked in a post last week about how he saved $60 a month by simply making one phone call. Part of the post centered on the fact that we often miss out on money savings simply because we don’t ask. Often times we don’t ask for discounts because we aren’t aware that we can, and often we just simply don’t take the time to make the call. But more often, I’d wager to bet that we don’t ask for discounts because we are afraid of having to deal with rejection. Being afraid of rejection is a common problem. Humans are generally self-centered, and have a hard time telling themselves “no” or having other people tell them “no”. There is also the history factor. In my case, I felt rejected by my parents when they divorced. Now, my parents didn’t truly reject me, but I felt rejected by them. Therefore, any time anyone else in life rejected me, I would take it personally. I felt hurt and I felt dissed. I let the feelings that I had over my parents’ divorce transfer into a thousand different scenarios for decades afterwards. I feared rejection so much that it was simply easier to not ask for things and suffer from whatever sufferings not asking for them would bring.
Why it’s Important to Learn to Deal with Rejection
In reality, though, as I eventually learned, rejection can be a good thing. Here’s how.
Rejection Makes You Stronger
After awhile, in my life, I decided that risk of being rejected from what I needed to ask for was smaller than what I could gain by the attempt. So I pushed aside my fears of rejection, and just started asking for what I needed and wanted. Some of the time I got what I asked for. Some of the time I didn’t. But you know what? Each time I got rejected, I learned that it was OKAY. That life still went on and that the world didn’t end because someone told me “no”. In this sense, rejection made me stronger and more self-confident, and it made me more prepared and confident to ask for what I needed the next time around.
Rejection Teaches You Things
Another great thing about rejection is that it possesses the ability to teach you something. Whenever I get rejected these days, I ask myself why I might have gotten rejected. Maybe it’s because of the way I asked. Maybe I sounded too desperate, too demanding or too unsure of myself. Those things can have an impact on your requests, and in diagnosing those problems, one can learn how to sound more confident, more objective or more intelligent. Or, maybe I was asking something that couldn’t be granted by the person I was asking and had absolutely nothing to do with me. In that case, I have the opportunity to learn to figure out what other way I can go to get what I want. By dissecting and diagnosing why rejection happens in your life, you have the ability to become a better negotiator, a better planner, a better problem solver and a better salesperson. Because I’ve learned this, I now have the ability to turn rejection around and use it as an opportunity instead of a setback.
Rejection is a part of life. There isn’t always something we can do about it. But nearly all good things are obtained by taking the risk of being objected. I’ve made more money, gotten great friends, and a whole host of other good things in my life because I learned that asking for good things is worth the possibility of having to deal with rejection. Do yourself a favor and, if you fear rejection, conquer that fear by stepping out and taking some risks, and asking for things you want. You may get some “no”‘s but you’ll likely get some “yes”‘s that will bring awesome things into your life.
How do you deal with rejection? What are some great things you’ve gained by simply being willing to take a risk and ask?
Image via Celestine Chua